She must be there
I felt her fingers-
brushing away my tears,
my frowns
stroking my hair
She must be there
I heard her voice-
"Hush,
Don't cry-
save your tears before they run dry"
She must be there
I touched her wings-
There were feathers in my fingers
With colours that sing
If-
I hold my breath and be still long enough-
I could almost hear
the clouds whisper her name
May 31, 2007
GoodbyeMAY2007
Last night for the 1st time since I started this blog, 'Variations in Canon' was able to play smoothly. It's one of my favourite songs, because its nice and because more than 1 year ago a pighead played it for me.It sounds bad then, but of course I love it in spite of everything. Seems like a sign that things really are getting much better now.
Never once since I put it in my blog at the beginning of May it was played so smoothly. Nobody understands how I felt to hear those familiar notes I missed so long. It's like a relief- May 2007 is going to be history.
So many things, so many changes.
So many discoveries, so many surprises.
How can everything happen just in one single day?
Just when I thought the world I live in was falling apart piece by piece, somehow the pieces rebuild themselves-it's just funny how things can turn out in the end.
I feel like asking, "What else? What is going to happen next?"
I can almost hear a whisper in my ear,
"Patience, my girl. There's more.You'll see..."
Never once since I put it in my blog at the beginning of May it was played so smoothly. Nobody understands how I felt to hear those familiar notes I missed so long. It's like a relief- May 2007 is going to be history.
So many things, so many changes.
So many discoveries, so many surprises.
How can everything happen just in one single day?
Just when I thought the world I live in was falling apart piece by piece, somehow the pieces rebuild themselves-it's just funny how things can turn out in the end.
I feel like asking, "What else? What is going to happen next?"
I can almost hear a whisper in my ear,
"Patience, my girl. There's more.You'll see..."
May 17, 2007
FLOWERessay
FLOWER. Today is only the 3rd day of Form 6, but we've already got homework: Malay essays, minimum 750 words, maximum 2000 words. FLOWER!! I don't know how to squeeze so many words out!! And all in Malay too! ( Psst, I strongly dislike the language. ) The choices are all very..challenging. Rasuah (the easiest). Others mostly about comodities and 50th Anniversary for Malaysia's Independence Day.Only 1 day to do it!! 1000 words for Rasuah!! The classes haven't even start yet! What and how am I suppose to write??? Flower x10.
Then Manager proposed using the oldest method : PLAGIARISM, aka Copy and Paste. Hahaha!! Good idea!I think this is the only word we all remembered from the lecturer at Taylor's. I spelled it PLAGEURISM this morning. So Stupid.Sorry, Manager XD
But we can't copy All of it of course. Lawyer said that we might get sued because these are entries for a state essay contest. But he said if we changed only 1 word in the whole sentence, we won't get sued because we don't copy and paste anything. Then you can change active sentences to passive sentences and the other way round too. Haha!
Other than that flower essay today's quite okay though. We had MUET pretest to test our level. Now that is Exciting. Finishing that paper is energy and time consuming, but I really enjoyed it.Some questions really make you think, not questions with the answers screaming in your face.The passages are informative too.After finishing the paper I know more about China's surge in the world's market, herbs, turtles etc.The challenge is Good. Haha. I still hope I get better results than Yang though. So far I think only my English is ahead of his XD
By the way, 38po is unavailable now. Congrats, 38po! Haha. You two are luckier than me and dear: you can see each other almost everyday. He's not bad too. Take care, you two. Best Wishes!
Despite the essays, I truly think I do enjoy being busy now XD
Then Manager proposed using the oldest method : PLAGIARISM, aka Copy and Paste. Hahaha!! Good idea!I think this is the only word we all remembered from the lecturer at Taylor's. I spelled it PLAGEURISM this morning. So Stupid.Sorry, Manager XD
But we can't copy All of it of course. Lawyer said that we might get sued because these are entries for a state essay contest. But he said if we changed only 1 word in the whole sentence, we won't get sued because we don't copy and paste anything. Then you can change active sentences to passive sentences and the other way round too. Haha!
Other than that flower essay today's quite okay though. We had MUET pretest to test our level. Now that is Exciting. Finishing that paper is energy and time consuming, but I really enjoyed it.Some questions really make you think, not questions with the answers screaming in your face.The passages are informative too.After finishing the paper I know more about China's surge in the world's market, herbs, turtles etc.The challenge is Good. Haha. I still hope I get better results than Yang though. So far I think only my English is ahead of his XD
By the way, 38po is unavailable now. Congrats, 38po! Haha. You two are luckier than me and dear: you can see each other almost everyday. He's not bad too. Take care, you two. Best Wishes!
Despite the essays, I truly think I do enjoy being busy now XD
May 12, 2007
I'm looking for a tree
I'm looking for a tree.
A strong, sturdy tree. A tree with strong leafy branches, so that I can read and eat apples as I lie on a branch that won't break and hide from nosey brats who simply can't understand the word PRIVACY.
A tree with birds singing among the leaves,
a tree with a nest and 4 eggs nestled in its arms,
a tree with squirrels scampering on the branches,
a tree with a dryad hiding in its trunk, whispering from her hiding place and singing a song of the journey of leaves blown away by the wind.
A tree which I can lean on when I'm cold and tired,
a tree which will stand still as I cry my heart out on its trunk,
a tree which won't shy away from me,
a tree which won't turn its head away,
a tree which its dryad will slip out from her lair and stroke my head gently and whisper that things will be alright in my ears.
A tree that will stand fast at all times.
A tree that will always be there for me.
A tree that will be My tree and belongs to no one else but me.
My very own tree.
WANTED:
A strong tree with sturdy and leafy branches.
Details see above.
If interested, please contact Han Ning:
7, Dream Lane,
Honey Street.
A strong, sturdy tree. A tree with strong leafy branches, so that I can read and eat apples as I lie on a branch that won't break and hide from nosey brats who simply can't understand the word PRIVACY.
A tree with birds singing among the leaves,
a tree with a nest and 4 eggs nestled in its arms,
a tree with squirrels scampering on the branches,
a tree with a dryad hiding in its trunk, whispering from her hiding place and singing a song of the journey of leaves blown away by the wind.
A tree which I can lean on when I'm cold and tired,
a tree which will stand still as I cry my heart out on its trunk,
a tree which won't shy away from me,
a tree which won't turn its head away,
a tree which its dryad will slip out from her lair and stroke my head gently and whisper that things will be alright in my ears.
A tree that will stand fast at all times.
A tree that will always be there for me.
A tree that will be My tree and belongs to no one else but me.
My very own tree.
WANTED:
A strong tree with sturdy and leafy branches.
Details see above.
If interested, please contact Han Ning:
7, Dream Lane,
Honey Street.
May 8, 2007
HOTseat
So Swt. Today when I went to my interview I discovered that I'm the only Chinese in the list. The others are Malay girls. No way. I can't believe I'm so lucky.
Then I found that I might even be the only Chinese in the whole building, even the workers are all Malay!!! Hello, anyone else here who isn't Malay? I wished I can feel that I'm not a minority here!!
Sobz. I wished I could sit. You see, the Malays even got all the chairs!! Flower la.
Then one kind Malay uncle gave me his seat. Oops. SHAME on you, Han Ning XD
Finally my turn. Glup. Then I did the most stupid thing in the whole wide world-I tripped on the carpet on my high heels !!! So FISH !!! Aiyo Han Ning!! How can you be So BAKA !!
Luckily no one else saw what happened.Uh-huh, yes I'm sure that nobody seen it.
First we have Ujian INSAK- 135 questions in 30 minutes!!
Then I discovered the questions are easy. Like, " Your principal gave you a lot of work but the other teachers don't have more than what they need to do. What would you feel? "
I chose, " Take it as a sign he believes in your ability. " The truth : FLOWER LA!! Why give me so much work?!?! So UNFAIR!! Where are my rights for fair treatment!! XD
Then essay writing. I chose " The world that we live in" over "MyParents". "My Parents" too boring haha. Then group interview. Then rest.
Then individual interview. The interviewers asked me, " Which current issue would you like to relate to us? " SWT. I can choose any current issue I like? YIPEE!! Then I don't have to talk about politics and diesel subsidies and other boring stuff Haha XD. We talked about the Virginia Tech Shootout. About that twisted Cho.Actually the 2 ladies are quite nice, but the room was so Cold! I can't really stop my teeth from chattering! I actually welcome the heat when I stepped out of the room.
Whew! Over at last. I felt that I'm being a hypocrite when I answer the Ujian INSAK. But then, who wouldn't in the same situation? XD Of course I told lies once in a while, even to dear (shh), and of course I'm a victim of procrastination. That's the reason why Mei Wan still haven't get her birthday present after 3 years!! Kakaka
By the way, leaking ceilings in government buildings often come out in the news nowadays. Guess what? The place where I went for my interview have Leaking ceilings too!! What a coincedence XD
Then I found that I might even be the only Chinese in the whole building, even the workers are all Malay!!! Hello, anyone else here who isn't Malay? I wished I can feel that I'm not a minority here!!
Sobz. I wished I could sit. You see, the Malays even got all the chairs!! Flower la.
Then one kind Malay uncle gave me his seat. Oops. SHAME on you, Han Ning XD
Finally my turn. Glup. Then I did the most stupid thing in the whole wide world-I tripped on the carpet on my high heels !!! So FISH !!! Aiyo Han Ning!! How can you be So BAKA !!
Luckily no one else saw what happened.Uh-huh, yes I'm sure that nobody seen it.
First we have Ujian INSAK- 135 questions in 30 minutes!!
Then I discovered the questions are easy. Like, " Your principal gave you a lot of work but the other teachers don't have more than what they need to do. What would you feel? "
I chose, " Take it as a sign he believes in your ability. " The truth : FLOWER LA!! Why give me so much work?!?! So UNFAIR!! Where are my rights for fair treatment!! XD
Then essay writing. I chose " The world that we live in" over "MyParents". "My Parents" too boring haha. Then group interview. Then rest.
Then individual interview. The interviewers asked me, " Which current issue would you like to relate to us? " SWT. I can choose any current issue I like? YIPEE!! Then I don't have to talk about politics and diesel subsidies and other boring stuff Haha XD. We talked about the Virginia Tech Shootout. About that twisted Cho.Actually the 2 ladies are quite nice, but the room was so Cold! I can't really stop my teeth from chattering! I actually welcome the heat when I stepped out of the room.
Whew! Over at last. I felt that I'm being a hypocrite when I answer the Ujian INSAK. But then, who wouldn't in the same situation? XD Of course I told lies once in a while, even to dear (shh), and of course I'm a victim of procrastination. That's the reason why Mei Wan still haven't get her birthday present after 3 years!! Kakaka
By the way, leaking ceilings in government buildings often come out in the news nowadays. Guess what? The place where I went for my interview have Leaking ceilings too!! What a coincedence XD
May 6, 2007
NEGATIVEemotions
This is not good. I'm currently flooded by negative emotions!! So Flower!!
1. I'm STILL without much information for my TESL interview. and it's only 2 days away now!! Soo nervous!! I'm afraid that I might freak out in front of my interviewers? What if I faint?? I don't think anyone will want to revive me with CPR then.What if I stutter? T-th-then n-no-o-onee-e c-cc-an-un-un-de-r-r-st-st-an-d-d me! Eugh. The list of worries is long. Extremely Flower.
2. I miss my dear. Aikz. Something's gnawing me inside. Okay no more elaboration =x
3. Sobz. I wished I had a pet. A little dog or cat that will snuggle up with me now. Something warm and furry-so I can rub my face on its fur and imagine that I'm curling up to sleep on it. So sad, my only pet-Purple the Fish was dead.Blue the Fish died the next morning. I think the water's to blame. Aikz. What kind of water are we Drinking now??
Flower.I should not have such negative emotions. Dear said I'm too emo at times. Flower flower flower...
p/s But I don't really like fish as pets. I mean, what's much use of a pet which you can't hold, you can't touch and you can't hug? What can you do with a fish? Tell it to fetch fishfood? Bring it for a walk in the park in a fishbowl? XD If I ever see those thieves who ran away with my pretty puppy Numba 4 and I'll SKIN them alive.
1. I'm STILL without much information for my TESL interview. and it's only 2 days away now!! Soo nervous!! I'm afraid that I might freak out in front of my interviewers? What if I faint?? I don't think anyone will want to revive me with CPR then.What if I stutter? T-th-then n-no-o-onee-e c-cc-an-un-un-de-r-r-st-st-an-d-d me! Eugh. The list of worries is long. Extremely Flower.
2. I miss my dear. Aikz. Something's gnawing me inside. Okay no more elaboration =x
3. Sobz. I wished I had a pet. A little dog or cat that will snuggle up with me now. Something warm and furry-so I can rub my face on its fur and imagine that I'm curling up to sleep on it. So sad, my only pet-Purple the Fish was dead.Blue the Fish died the next morning. I think the water's to blame. Aikz. What kind of water are we Drinking now??
Flower.I should not have such negative emotions. Dear said I'm too emo at times. Flower flower flower...
p/s But I don't really like fish as pets. I mean, what's much use of a pet which you can't hold, you can't touch and you can't hug? What can you do with a fish? Tell it to fetch fishfood? Bring it for a walk in the park in a fishbowl? XD If I ever see those thieves who ran away with my pretty puppy Numba 4 and I'll SKIN them alive.
Flower #1
* flower = a substitute for any word you can use to scold so you won't sound too bad
These few days are so flower. Keep meeting flowers !!!
Flower #1 came into bloom on Friday. Dear and I just quarelled.I'm already in foul mood.Then this flower have to come and add to my fury just when I stupid question straightaway when I i thought I can perhaps shelter myself in MSN!
F: Then let me look at your face.
M: ... ( Humph. Might as well. Mood getting darker and darker.)
* photo sending in process *
F: Let me see ar. ( Can't you wait, Stupid?! )
* photo sending not accepted by stupid F *
M: Send le.
F: Where?
F: Trying to fool me? ( HELLO! I HAVE ALREADY SENT IT TO YOU!! You are the flower one who didn't accept it!!! )
* 2nd try. *
F: Try again.
M: I sent it, you're the one who didn't accept it. ( FLOWER!! ACCEPT LA STUPID!! I'm only being polite because mommy said I should be polite to others-even to those who don't know better..!!)
* flower finally realise how flower is he and accept. at last photo sending is over. *
F: Keep skin la. You look like Rainie Yeung? Who said that
FLOWER!! THAT'S ENOUGH!! THAT IS THE LAST STRAW!!
Naturally, I explode.
M: WHICH STUPID SAID I LOOK LIKE RAINIE YEUNG?!?!
F: Is Who, told me ( HELLO! YOU SUPPOSE I KNOW WHO IN THE WORLD YOU MEAN? THE TOILET-CLEANER? THE POLICE? THE BRAINLESS SICKO? )
M: I NEVER SAID THAT. THOSE WHO SAID SO MUST BE BLIND
F: Then do you have any pretty friends? introduce to me (THE NERVE! Insulting me like this and you Dare to ask me to do something so stupid like this?! )
M: Go find yourself in friendster list. ( No way I'm doing that. I'm BOILING too much )
F: That's too bothersome. you give me your url
OI FLOWER! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!! YOU INSULTED ME!! AND NOW YOU'RE ASKING ME TO DO THINGS LIKE NOTHING HAPPENS?! AM I YOUR MAID?!
M: Crazy. Go find yourself. I'm in a foul mood. and I have things to do. (FLOWER!! I'm warning you!! )
F: Talk to me (Andy Lau) in this way, what kind of attitude
TRIPLE FLOWER!!!! Hello!! That's too much!! Stupid flower just crossed the line. 1. With that flower brain of his he came online expecting me to look like rainie yeung, or that I claimed that I look like rainie yeung. 2. He asked me to KEEP SKIN!!! 3. He steps on me as if it's nothing and still orders me around like filipino maid. 4. ANDY LAU? HE THINKS HE'S ANDY LAU? And he expects me to be polite to him after all this?!?!
Note to flower:
I know I don't look pretty. But I think I'm a little cute. But I know I'm not cute in rainie's way. I didn't claimed that I look like her AT ALL! And what KEEP SKIN?? If I'm not cute in rainie's way then I must keep skin la? What the heck!? MUST be cute like her meh? Cannot cute in my own way ar? And You very handsome meh? Mr Universe ar you? Keep what skin? You keep skin 1st la! You think you're very close to me to deliver things like that and expect me to not being mad with it?! And what ask me introduce beauties!? You are the one who wants to know girls, YOU go find them yourself!! STUPID!! You think I'm your maid, order me around?! Even my dear never did that!! And what do you mean by you being andy lau? If Andy Lau insult people can get away with nothing ar?? You still expect me to be polite to you? DREAM ON LA NUT CASE!!
PLease remember I'm in a terrible mood after quarrelling with dear. I throw the whole note in that stupid flower's face and blocked him. Then I decided to delete him. I don't want someone like this to contaminate my contact list. So FLOWER !! Baka!
That's Flower #1. There's still Flower #2.
p/s I think I prefer being cute my way. XD
These few days are so flower. Keep meeting flowers !!!
Flower #1 came into bloom on Friday. Dear and I just quarelled.I'm already in foul mood.Then this flower have to come and add to my fury just when I stupid question straightaway when I i thought I can perhaps shelter myself in MSN!
*Flower#1 = F, Me = M
F: Anybody said you're as cute as Rainie Yeung? ( Attention: I think I'm a little cute, but I don't think I'm cute in Rainie's way. NOBODY will ever say I'm as cute as her.)
M: ? (Duh.Naturally I wonder who in his sane mind will say that. Or why anyone will say that. )
F: You look like her? I don't believe it . ( HELLO. Is it just me, or does he sounds a little too unfriendly?)
Being the usual me (only with a mood as dark as night) , I decided to put some things right here.
M: I never said I look like her bo. And I don't think I look like her.
F: Then let me look at your face.
M: ... ( Humph. Might as well. Mood getting darker and darker.)
* photo sending in process *
F: Let me see ar. ( Can't you wait, Stupid?! )
* photo sending not accepted by stupid F *
M: Send le.
F: Where?
F: Trying to fool me? ( HELLO! I HAVE ALREADY SENT IT TO YOU!! You are the flower one who didn't accept it!!! )
* 2nd try. *
F: Try again.
M: I sent it, you're the one who didn't accept it. ( FLOWER!! ACCEPT LA STUPID!! I'm only being polite because mommy said I should be polite to others-even to those who don't know better..!!)
* flower finally realise how flower is he and accept. at last photo sending is over. *
F: Keep skin la. You look like Rainie Yeung? Who said that
FLOWER!! THAT'S ENOUGH!! THAT IS THE LAST STRAW!!
Naturally, I explode.
M: WHICH STUPID SAID I LOOK LIKE RAINIE YEUNG?!?!
F: Is Who, told me ( HELLO! YOU SUPPOSE I KNOW WHO IN THE WORLD YOU MEAN? THE TOILET-CLEANER? THE POLICE? THE BRAINLESS SICKO? )
M: I NEVER SAID THAT. THOSE WHO SAID SO MUST BE BLIND
F: Then do you have any pretty friends? introduce to me (THE NERVE! Insulting me like this and you Dare to ask me to do something so stupid like this?! )
M: Go find yourself in friendster list. ( No way I'm doing that. I'm BOILING too much )
F: That's too bothersome. you give me your url
OI FLOWER! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!! YOU INSULTED ME!! AND NOW YOU'RE ASKING ME TO DO THINGS LIKE NOTHING HAPPENS?! AM I YOUR MAID?!
M: Crazy. Go find yourself. I'm in a foul mood. and I have things to do. (FLOWER!! I'm warning you!! )
F: Talk to me (Andy Lau) in this way, what kind of attitude
TRIPLE FLOWER!!!! Hello!! That's too much!! Stupid flower just crossed the line. 1. With that flower brain of his he came online expecting me to look like rainie yeung, or that I claimed that I look like rainie yeung. 2. He asked me to KEEP SKIN!!! 3. He steps on me as if it's nothing and still orders me around like filipino maid. 4. ANDY LAU? HE THINKS HE'S ANDY LAU? And he expects me to be polite to him after all this?!?!
Note to flower:
I know I don't look pretty. But I think I'm a little cute. But I know I'm not cute in rainie's way. I didn't claimed that I look like her AT ALL! And what KEEP SKIN?? If I'm not cute in rainie's way then I must keep skin la? What the heck!? MUST be cute like her meh? Cannot cute in my own way ar? And You very handsome meh? Mr Universe ar you? Keep what skin? You keep skin 1st la! You think you're very close to me to deliver things like that and expect me to not being mad with it?! And what ask me introduce beauties!? You are the one who wants to know girls, YOU go find them yourself!! STUPID!! You think I'm your maid, order me around?! Even my dear never did that!! And what do you mean by you being andy lau? If Andy Lau insult people can get away with nothing ar?? You still expect me to be polite to you? DREAM ON LA NUT CASE!!
PLease remember I'm in a terrible mood after quarrelling with dear. I throw the whole note in that stupid flower's face and blocked him. Then I decided to delete him. I don't want someone like this to contaminate my contact list. So FLOWER !! Baka!
That's Flower #1. There's still Flower #2.
p/s I think I prefer being cute my way. XD
Dolce's a Dear
3 cheers for Dolce dear! Thanks for enabling me to use the skins I love! Hugs and Kisses!! XOXO
Finally.A new blog for 1. pouring out my whimsical fancies 2. spilling my wrath 3. SCREAM And with all kinds of words to be used at my fingertips without fear!! (wink wink)
But then, a girl still have a reputation to consider...And here's another of Dolce's ideas again.She came up with a perfectly easy solution so that I can yell my head off at some brat without heaping shame on myself : the art of SUBSTITUTION.
It's all very simple.Like using ordinary words like "wave" or "
Oh and never forget the use of italics. adorable and adorable never ever means the same, people.
I thank whoever-he-is who invents the art of substitution and italics.It's really no fun owning a blog which you can't use it to yell at some flowers once in a while.
My hands are already itching to pour my wrath on a beastly brat which I have the honour of meeting him.
Finally.A new blog for 1. pouring out my whimsical fancies 2. spilling my wrath 3. SCREAM And with all kinds of words to be used at my fingertips without fear!! (wink wink)
But then, a girl still have a reputation to consider...And here's another of Dolce's ideas again.She came up with a perfectly easy solution so that I can yell my head off at some brat without heaping shame on myself : the art of SUBSTITUTION.
It's all very simple.Like using ordinary words like "wave" or "
Oh and never forget the use of italics. adorable and adorable never ever means the same, people.
I thank whoever-he-is who invents the art of substitution and italics.It's really no fun owning a blog which you can't use it to yell at some flowers once in a while.
My hands are already itching to pour my wrath on a beastly brat which I have the honour of meeting him.
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